Category: Balanced Living

It’s like two waves collide: one is the trend of New Year’s Resolutions and the other is against them. In fact, several voices on the internet positing the resolutions are stressful, not aspirational. We read that resolutions focus on the end of the journey not the road to it. So, when we make our long lists of promises, we usually set high goals, like going to the gym 4 times per week, getting a promotion, buying a house, get a degree. Which, obviously, makes us feel good as we visualize our prosperous future. But, do we set the bar far too high? The answer is usually yes and this is how New Year’s resolutions turn into stressful thoughts.

What is funny is this specific resolution to be more mindful. But, mindful means living and enjoying the present, being there, feeling more, think less. We cannot push ourselves to enjoy the moment, we can only realize the importance of being present: Of reading this blog post now and being aware of the light of your computer and how it makes you feel, to notice the feeling of the chair or cushion you are sitting on, to stop thinking what you can do with your resolutions and focus on here and now. Sometimes, it might feel difficult to concentrate, especially if you are not living alone, at a cottage, or in the mountains. This is where Virtual Reality comes to the rescue: The mind reacts to VR, in the same way, it reacts to the real experience, hence a virtual meditation in the forests of Ireland will make you relax as if you were actually there. This is why so many meditators have selected Solas VR as their mindfulness vehicle and this is why we are about to launch more landscapes and new possibilities, ones that will allow you to interact- like moving pebbles from one place to another- allowing the mind to unwind more.

We don’t make resolutions, but we can make this promise: this year, all Solas VR users will be more mindful than any other. Just put your headset on.

From Twitter to all the companies impacted by the energy crisis, many people abruptly found themselves unemployed. And while the obvious first move- massive cv sending- there is one that comes first: to find yourself and what you really want to do.

“It is easy to say when you are from the outside”, you’d think, and perhaps it is right. But, don’t you need a sober-minded friend to hold you back from making a mistake?

You will find online several lists on what to do when you are laid off, but that consent on one thing: try to make lemonade out of this bunch of lemons that you didn’t ask for, but here they are. Take some time to digest what happened and what it can possibly come out of this. Was it the job of your dreams? What are your strengths, and in what areas can you better yourself? What do you really want to do with your life?

Check the job ads but be patient, don’t allow the panic of the moment to draw you into sending CVs to jobs that are lower than your standards. And, focus: on the present and the future- the past is the past.

Try mindfulness– even if it’s the first time in your life. Find new ways to empty your mind, send away any negative and stressful thoughts, and start over. As they say, many things can be fixed just with a restart. So is yourself. And, your career. 

It has been a very challenging year, indeed. We experienced extreme anxiety due to uncertainty and isolation and we found ourselves witnessing a real life episode of Black Mirror, at best. New words entered our daily vocabulary and extreme measures of the past – like quarantines- become our 2020 reality. Throughout this year, many of us lost their loved ones, lost their jobs, lost their wellbeing. As numbers prove, stress levels spiked, and the use of anti-depressants, too. When everything is changing it is only human to seek for something to soothe the pain.

Yet, fear is still all over us. The media sublty kill any ray of optimism and we still haven’t found a place to feel safe and secure. As we are looking for a strong person to lean on, though, sometimes we overlook the most obvious of them: ourselves. It is not a cliche, but a reality, that we have so much strenght in us that we are equipped to face everything. But, as we flood our minds and hearts with negative thoughts and emotions, this strengths is harder to be found. This year, the importance of mindful living was beyond dispute. Even WHO suggested as a coping mechanism to Covid-19 related stress to focus on our breath and allow ourselves some time to relax and unwind. So, this is a silver lining: this year, many of us got the chance to rediscover ourselves. We had too much time on our hands and we needed to reinvent ways to spend it. Some remembered how important family is and others respect themselves for their endurance while lonely. We managed to look beyond our personal interest and to be kind to strangers. We supported in ways that we haven’t done so ever before and we realize the power and wisdom of nature.

As the year is ending and we are hoping that magically when the numbers changed and 2021 comes life will be better at a glance. Well, you know what, it might as well be better, if we manage to distance ourselves from the noice and focus on what really matters. Take some time to count your blessings. You are here, you are alive. You found your way to cope with this and now you are walking towards the end of the tunnel. You have more power than you thought and this is something you should acknowledge. Reward yourself for 2020, breathe in gratefulness, breathe out negativity. We are here, now. The worst part is behind us. Let’s make sure our minds and hearts know it.

Is it really possible? Can we live a life without guilt, regret and remorse?  Given that our mind is like velcro for negative thinking, feeling guilty is easier and more natural, than forgiveness. In fact, there are situations when feeling guilty is more like a shield: we say to the inner critic “Look, I am not taking pride on my achievements, actually I acknowledge that I could have done better”.

Crazy as it might seem, this somehow resonates with most of us. Perhaps because we all have some examples of conditioning that we have experienced- with hard wired fears and beliefs about ourselves that we accept without judging them. In this harsh relationship with ourselves, there is no room for forgiveness when a mistake actually occurs. What we need is a plan, a strategy to cope with guilt and move on.

First and foremost, we need to acknowledge and accept the mistake we ‘ve done, regardless how minor or big it was. We need to experience the emotional and physical reaction that  remorses bring along, until we reach the point to understand that to err is human. It can take you one minute or days, it doesn’t matter; you might  even see that you are not ready to deal with it right now, so just put a pin in it and come back when you feel ready.  The only thing that matters, is that at some point,  you will start considering forgiveness as a possibility.

Throughout this process try to talk to yourself as you would talk to your friends and follow your own advice.  We tend to be softer and more compassionate when it comes to others and so much harsher when it comes to ourselves. Hence, empathy is the cornerstone of guilt free relationships, including the one we have with our self. Being kind is not a sign of softness or indulgence, it is realism. We all make mistakes and we all deserve to be forgiven.

The key to a life without regrets is to be in touch with our emotions and our thoughts. Conditioning together with our inner critic will always find ways to make us doubt, inserting thoughts of guilt where least expected. If we practice what we preach- don’t believe in anything you think- they we will be able to distance ourselves from our thoughts, to notice them, without accepting or internalizing them. This mindful stance towards life is the result of regular meditation and breathing exercises that ultimately allow us to take control over our thoughts and emotions. If you wonder why you should engage in mindfulness, take a second to picture this: how would you feel if one day you wake up without the burden of regrets in your heart? Well, this is why.

Finally, we have a reason to be optimistic about: at the end of the tunnel, there is a vaccine. But, is this the only antidote against sickness, let alone a pandemic? Don’t get us wrong we do believe in science- science is the backbone of Solas VR meditation app. But, it seems like our society has made a step forward, and organisations like WHO embrace the power of behaviour: “Be kind to yourself and others”, we read in this 5 points list on how to cope with the pandemic.

Kindness can save the world. Because being kind is the reflection of a calm and confident mind and a warm soul. Kindness is like the tip of the iceberg: what lies beyond is massive, it takes time to build, and it can change lives forever.

“Be kind to yourself and others”, we read. The first step is the hardest, though. How can we be kind to ourselves when our mind is filled with criticism, guilt and unfulfilled expectations? We have already discussed how conditioning shapes our understanding of the present: deep-rooted beliefs about ourselves uglify the perception of the lives we live. When we feel like we are not good enough, we develop a defensive posture against the world and other people. We feel that we deserve more, we tend to compare ourselves to others and sometimes even feel jealous. How can anyone be gentle amid this emotional turmoil?

If you want to be kind to yourself and others, start by creating some space between yourself and your thoughts. Don’t believe everything you think; your thoughts are not necessarily right because they are not necessarily yours. Take some distance and gently notice what passes through your mind. This is the essence of mindfulness: our ability to distance ourselves from our thoughts and emotions and be capable to separate what really serves us from the rest.